4th of July Reflection

This afternoon I had some free time and a need to bake chocolate chip cookies, but no chocolate chips. So I put on my sneakers and started walking to my Ghetto Safeway. Not that I live in or near a ghetto, did you know the term ghetto originates from WWII? I just have a real crappy Safeway two blocks away and if I can buy two bags of groceries or less I just walk over and get what I need. Anyway, on my walk to Safeway (this one is on par with the old St John's Safeway, for those UP alum out there) I was inspired to think and write about this great country we live in. Being so close to the Fourth of July this post becomes so much more relevant, I think our founding fathers and all of the service men who have fought to protect our way of life (or at least our interest in foreign oil) would appreciate to know that America still kicks ass. But, before you read on, please know I tend to be a little "sarcastic at times" and having blood relations to multiple service men and women, I do appreciate and support the work they do.

So, why does America kick ass? Defiance, Determination, Ingenuity, Anti-conformity, and Consumerism, that's why! So here is the run down on my shopping trip that demonstrated all of these great things.

Defiance - Even though 'The Man' that is Safeway corporate says all employees must wear a tie to work, doesn't mean that tie has to be fastened to a dress shirt. An off shift employee (see name tag, apron, black pants) in front of me buying a Gatorade, decided she didn't want to be ruled by the man, she was going to wear a bright red tie loose around the neck and a bright green tank top. Take that MAN! No taxation without representation. I wonder if she attended one of those tax day tea bagging parties?

Ingenuity - As I walked to the store an older Subaru from the eighties rolled by me, only it wasn't just a beat up, silver non-descript, 80's coup. No it was a statement of ingenuity, granted this ingenuity was infinging upon the designs of those good people at ford and chevy.


But with a twist and an improvement, yep you guessed it, this proud owner had taken his POS and made it a bigger POS by chopping off the roof and window structure from behind the driver/shotgun seats and made his own car-truck monstrosity. Now I am sure you want to know what the improvement is, well, he also added a Rubbermaid truck bed locker box and had unlimited airflow out of his cab, I wish I had a camera with me. Definite improvement over those stuffy weather sealed factory models from the past. Don't tell me that the ingenuity of America's car industry is dead, oh speaking of not dead, I give you the next GM El Camino, only it's a Pontiac G8 Sports Truck or Pontiac G8 ST.

"The Pontiac G8 ST will be powered by the 6.0L V-8 engine, producing 361 horsepower (270 kW) and 385 lb.-ft. (522 Nm) of torque just like the Pontiac G8 GT. In addition, the Sport Truck also comes with a 1.8 meter long cargo bed and 1208 liter cargo space."

Exactly what America want's from their auto makers, more power and less function!

Anti-Conformity - Just because society says you don't need to wear a life jacket to walk across a parking lot, doesn't mean you can't. So one non-square shopper wore his type-II personal flotation device as he purchased his 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and walked to his car. Maybe he was afraid of tripping and landing in a puddle of 12 exploded PBR cans, you never know. Safety first!

Consumerism - A shopper in front of me, had a coupon. $10 off a purchase of $50 of food product, when he found out that without his alcohol (6 bottles of wine) he was only at $44 worth of food he had a remedy. He quickly grabbed two pints of Häagen-Dazs Ice Cream (which he admitted he didn't need more of). Bam, free Ice Cream and $3 off his bill, That's twice now that the Safeway Man has lost! I should have asked him if perhaps he would prefer some carrots instead?

Determination - Ah the Pièce de résistance, an unfortunate woman needed to park her minivan in a handicap space, a beautiful Chrysler, God Bless American cars, or should I refer to them as Italian now? I can't wait to see the first Ferrari inspired Town and Country Minivan. But why was she unfortunate, because she was on Oxygen. I feel for anyone that has to pull around a canister of oxygen, that would be a real burden, it probably excludes you from some joyous activities like walking dogs in the park and playing a pickup game of frolf. But you know what it doesn't stop her from doing, smoking that cigarette that probably put her in the condition she is in now. She is determined to not let a canister of oxygen or a doctors order keep her from the joys of Marlboro Country.

So yes, this is why America still kicks ass, so have a happy and safe Independence Day and go spend money you don't have on fireworks so you can go blow shit up! It's you God Given American Right!